Oneshots and Ideas: Naruto
by Tys1990
Summary: A collection Oneshots and Ideas that my mind has come up with. Some funny, some disturbing and some just plain odd. Rated for safety.
1. Introduction

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own Naruto, that belongs to Masashi Kishimoto.

This will be a series of Oneshots and random ideas, some funny and some that are just plain freaky, with stuff in between and will most likely be an ongoing project due to my craziness coming up with insane ideas. Some ideas I may expand into their own stories. If any of you want to continue them send me a PM for permission and send me link to it if I grant it.

This is rated M because some of the individual pieces may meet the criteria for M-rated fics, this does not mean that they all are.

I hope you enjoy them.


	2. 01 - Rooster Strike

Disclaimer: Do we really have to cover this? I don't own Naruto and I doubt I ever will.

* * *

Naruto – Rooster Strike

In Konohagakure a young boy was playing hide and seek with his friends, he looked to be seven years old, had blond hair blue eyes and three strange markings on each of his cheeks that resembled whiskers, his name was Naruto and his friend, Chōji, had been the one who was 'it' this time, and in an effort to find a good hiding spot he headed into a district filled with empty buildings, each of them had at least one red and white fan on them.

Naruto had decided that since no one went into the district, since the Uchihas had been given new living spaces years ago, that it would be a good place to hide and out of all of the buildings he picked the old temple to hide in due it being more isolated than the other building. When he entered the temple he found an isolated spot and hid there. Several minutes later he had fallen asleep.

Sometime later Naruto suddenly jolted awake and after rubbing the sleep out of his eyes checked his watch to find that he had been asleep for two hours. Figuring that his friends would have given up by now, he moved away from his hiding spot to find something else to do since it was the middle of the day and the Academy was out for the weekend. Exploring the temple for anything interesting, Naruto found that it had been completely cleared of out and so decided to try and find something else to do only for one of the rotten floorboards to give way under his foot when he turned to leave. Pulling his foot out of the floor he saw the light catch something in the hole, curious he got on to his knees to reach down and pull it out.

It took several minutes and carefully lifting up one of the adjacent floor boards for Naruto to retrieve the item. It was a dark wooden box that was almost completely devoid of decoration except for a piece of silver metal on the top of it shaped like a rooster kicking with one of its wings formed into a fist. Inside the box he found some scrolls, all neatly placed inside of it with a letter on top of them all, picking up the letter Naruto hesitantly broke the wax seal on it and began to read what was wrote;

'_To Whomever Is Reading,_

_First of all I would like to say greetings, and if you found the box as well, congratulations. You may be wondering what all of these scrolls contain; simply put they are guides on how to fully utilize my brother and I's fighting style, along with other things that I feel may be useful such as basic sealing techniques and chakra control exercises. Although there is a lack of ninjutsu techniques contained do not let it discourage you from studying the scrolls, when putting these scrolls together my main priority was to try and make sure that my brother and I's style did not die out and while I would have wanted to put in more ninjutsu techniques in the box I'm afraid that I simply did not have the time in order to do so. I reiterate do not let the lack of ninjutsu discourage you, the fighting style contained within these scrolls struck at the very core of a warriors strength, left fear in the hearts of our enemies and could leave all but the most resilient of warriors weeping helpless at our feet._

_You may be wondering, with good reason, why I am putting these scrolls together instead of teaching an apprentice. The truth is that since we have become allies with our rivals fewer and fewer of our clans people are studying our art, viewing it as 'cruel', 'brutal' and 'barbaric', this is a foolish train of thought, we are ninja not samurai and so things such as 'honour', 'mercy' and 'fighting fair' should be alien concepts to us while 'deception', 'misdirection' and 'deceit' act as the staple to a ninja's way of fighting. I have tried to convince my brother to write a guide for someone to learn our style but he stubbornly refuses to do so to avoid the risk of it falling into the hands of our rivals, which I can understand, but he has said that he would refuse to teach any of our clan members if they wanted to learn anyway, as he feels that they have made too many compromises already and may hand over the style to our rivals._

_So it falls to me to make sure that our style continues on, with my failing vision and health I will soon no longer be capable of taking on an apprentice. I have compiled these scrolls together and hidden them in our clan's temple in the hope that someday some of our members will once again take up the style of Rooster Strike._

_Signed_

_Izuna Uchiha'_

Naruto thought over what he had just read, while he didn't understand some of the words, he was able to understand most of it,

'So these scrolls will teach me some super secret and kickass fighting moves and some other stuff as well?' He grinned widely 'Awesome! If I learn all this I become Hokage in no time!'

* * *

* Six years Later – Central Tower of Training Ground 44 (a.k.a The Forest of Death)*

It was just after the second part of the chūnin exam and the preliminary rounds were just about to begin between those that had elected to continue. The preliminary rounds required a computer to randomly select two of the participants and have them fight each other to surrender, incapacitation or even death.

After a tense few moments waiting for the participants, the computer finally selected the first two names,

'_Naruto Uzumaki and Kiba Inuzuka'_

"Alright! Let's Go Akamaru!" Kiba said to the white dog on his head as he leapt over the balcony railing into the arena below, the small dog barking in agreement,

"Yes! First off the bat." Naruto said as he to leapt into the arena, his jumpsuit having black arms and legs and a dull, rust orange torso and his forehead protector being held in place with a long black cloth.

Back up on the observation deck Naruto's teammates, Sakura Haruno and Sasuke Uchiha, were discussing his chances with their sensei Kakashi Hatake,

"Do you think that Naruto will win?" Sakura asked,

"It's hard to say. Kiba will most likely be a melee fighter and we haven't seen Naruto fight an opponent hand to hand before. When the demon brothers ambushed us Naruto was ready to fight but I was able to take them out before they got to you three. The only other opponent Naruto seriously fought alone was that Haku person and he was ranged fighter. I have faith in Naruto though and I'm sure he'll do his best." Kakashi replied,

"Don't forget the jackass always seems to have a trick or two up his sleeve." Sasuke added in, trying to ignore the Cursed Seal on his shoulder, smirking slightly to show that his insult was with a good nature,

Back in the arena both opponents faced each other, with the proctor, Hayate Gekkō, in between them,

"Are both participants ready?" The sickly looking proctor asked, when both of them nodded their heads he quickly jumped back towards where the Hokage, Hiruzen Sarutobi, was seated, "Begin!" he shouted.

As soon as the words Hayate's mouth Kiba lunged forward and aimed a claw swipe at Naruto side only for it to intercepted by Naruto grabbing his arm with both hands, who then used the momentum to spin completely around and throw the off-footed Kiba in the wall in front of him. In effort to try and help his partner, Akamaru circled around and tried to attack Naruto from behind however he just spotted the dog moving out of the corner of his eye and quickly made a cross-like sign with his hands causing a shadow clone to appear by his side which delivered a swift and vicious kick to the puppy before took a hold of its front paws, leaving it dazed and dangling in front of the clone.

Seeing his partner in trouble Kiba charged forward for another claw swipe, this time preparing for any counter-grapples however Naruto's response wasn't a grapple but a swift high kick to Kiba's chin before quickly slamming the heel of the same foot down on his shoulder on the decent. As soon as his foot hit the ground, he lashed his other foot out delivering a swift kick to Kiba's chest forcing him to stumble back.

Kiba grimaced as he tasted the blood in his mouth and when his hand checked his shoulder he winced when the collar bone shifted uncomfortably. He'd underestimated Naruto and had paid the price, he needed to take this seriously or he would pay for it later.

He reached into his hip pouch and withdrew a Soldier Pill before calling out to his partner,

"Open up Akamaru!"

and accurately flicked the pill into the puppy's waiting mouth before taking one himself. The effects were immediate as Kiba's features became more feral, while Akamaru's fur gained a red tint before he twisted in the arms of his captor and bit into the clone's wrist causing it to dispel into smoke, when he the quickly made his way onto a crouching Kiba's back. A second later there a puff of smoke enveloped the two partners, when it cleared away there were two Kibas ready to fight.

Even outnumbered two to one Naruto held his own against the feral attacks and was able to work out the pattern of their attacks; one opponent would lead a barrage of attacks from the front in an effort to draw his attention away from the other moving to flank him. Although he was able to dodge most of the attacks he did get a slashes inflicted on him but on the other hand he was able to deliver several powerful kicks to his opponents during his counter strikes forcing them to pull away from the fight.

A tiring Kiba observed his opponent and saw that not only had Naruto only received relatively superficial injuries but also seemed as fresh as he was before the fight, while him and Akamaru were tiring at a much faster rate and taking more damage, not only had he had to swallow one of his dislodged teeth in order avoid Naruto realising how bad he had hit him but he was sure that Naruto managed to crack a couple of ribs with that last kick. Looking towards Akamaru they both nodded to each other and launched forward once more, however at the last moment before contact the rapidly began spinning like drills towards Naruto who was forced to dive forward to avoid being hit by the dual attack. Sensing a change in the flow of the fight Kiba and Akamaru pressed their, leaving gashes in the stone walls and floor when they missed.

Naruto dodged and dived as fast as possible to avoid the continuous barrage of attacks but was still caught slightly by an occasional glancing blow leaving cuts on his arms and legs for the most part,

'Looks like I'm going to have to take it up a notch.' He thought to himself,

As the two destructive cyclones came at him once more he waited until the last moment before leaning backwards at almost ninety degrees allowing them to pass over him, however before they could completely pass over him his fists lashed forward and struck them while they were still spinning.

The forces of the blows made the recipients lose control and made them tumble clumsy along the ground before coming to a stop by slamming into the walls with one of them turning back into a dog upon stopping. As Akamaru lay in a curled up heap whimpering in pain, Kiba was in a similar state groaning in pain as his hands covered his privates.

Seeing his opponents down on the ground Naruto calmly made his way towards Kiba while drawing a kunai. When he reached Kiba he grabbed him by the hair, lifted his head up and held the kunai to his throat before looking towards Hayate,

"Kiba is unable to continue, winner of the match Naruto Uzumaki." Hayate anouned,

Putting his kunai away Naruto smiled and made his way back up to his team.

Back up on the balcony Sakura was talking excitedly about Naruto's performance,

"Did you guys see that? Naruto totally kicked Kiba's ass!"

"Indeed, it seems that Naruto's got some talent in taijutsu." Kakashi said,

When Sakura looked towards Sasuke she became concerned to Sasuke frowning slightly,

"What wrong Sasuke?" She asked,

"It's nothing Sakura, don't worry about it." He replied after a moment, 'I don't know why but those moves of Naruto seemed vaguely familiar.'

Before anything else could be said Naruto had joined them on the observation deck while the next match was being selected.

* * *

Naruto grit his teeth as he watched the medics carry Hinata Hyūga out of the arena after her match with her older cousin Neji Hyūga. He understood that ninja didn't fight fair but still in his opinion, Neji was bordering on being sadistic and towards his own family no less and could easily have resolved the fight without hurting Hinata so much.

Later on when it was time to decide the order of who would fight first in the third round of the chūnin exams a month later, Naruto smiled inwardly at getting paired up against Neji,

'That you Lady Luck. One thing's sure is that I'm not going to hold back on him like I did against Kiba, he will feel the full force of Rooster Strike.'

* * *

* One Month Later *

When Naruto arrived at the packed chūnin exam stadium, he was wearing a black training uniform with rust orange trim and a cloth belt in the same colour as the trim. While he wasn't the first to arrive he wasn't the last either both Sasuke and his friend, Shikamaru Nara, were already there as well as Neji, who Naruto briefly glared at,

"Hi guys. I'm surprised to see you here so soon Sasuke, I thought you might have picked some of Kakashi's habits by now and arrive late for your own match." Naruto said in a joking manner,

"If he'd have had his way we would have been, even if it is the last one of this round. I had to tell him that if I'm there from the beginning I could more easily scope out the competition." Sasuke replied, 'That and I want to confirm my suspicions about your fighting style.' He added in his mind. He looked over what Naruto was wearing, "Why are you wearing that getup?"

"Don't knock it, it's tougher than it looks and is easier for me to move around in." Naruto replied with a smile, no sooner had he finished replying when Sasuke spotted a black design on the each of the ends of the belt, when he looked closer he saw that they were shaped like a rooster kicking with one of its wings formed into a fist and an instant later his face turned ashen. Swallowing the lump in his throat he asked Naruto to confirm his suspicions,

"Naruto? What's that sign on your belt for?" he asked in a shaking voice,

Blinking in confusion, Naruto looked down at the sign on his belt before looking back towards Sasuke,

"Oh that. That's just the symbol of my taijutsu style. Why'd you ask?"

Sasuke however didn't reply due to his mind undergoing a whirlwind of thoughts going through his head as his face went ashen, just as he was finally about to reply Neji spoke up,

"A chicken? Typical of a looser to use a style so pathetic it has a chicken for a symbol, do yourself a favour and just quit now. It's your fate to lose today. There is no way that the superiority of Gentle Fist could ever be surpassed by whatever pathetic move sets you have that passes for a 'style'."

Naruto glared once more at Neji,

"You know, before I was just going to kick your ass. Now I'm going make you cry like a little baby." He said coldly,

Sasuke looked between his teammate and Neji a few times before suddenly rushing towards the arena wall, without breaking his stride he ran up it and into the audience's seating area and began scanning the crowd for something. When he saw what he was looking for he didn't hesitate,

"Hey you!" he shouted while pointing towards one of the bookies "Let me put down a hundred thousand ryō on Naruto Uzumaki in the up and coming match!"

The crowd stated muttering about Sasuke's bet as he made his way towards the bookie,

"Kid are you sure? I mean his odds have been put at twenty five to one against." The bookie asked,

"I wouldn't have made the bet if I wasn't sure." Sasuke said and after collecting his betting slip made his way back down into the arena.

Sometime later Sasuke was sat in the contestants booth overlooking the arena as the new proctor, Genma Shiranui,explained the rules to the audience before Naruto and Neji's match. Next to him Shikamaru lazily spoke up,

"So what's so special about this taijutsu of Naruto's. I haven't heard of any with a symbol like that but for you to be so freaked out and to make a bet on him against a Hyūga who are, you know, taijutsu specialists must mean that there's something off about it."

Sasuke smirked before replying,

"Just wait and see Nara, wait and see."

Back in the arena Genma had vacated the area after confirming that both participants were ready, after activating his Byakugan and settling into the Gentle Fist stance Neji decided to give his opponent one last chance to back out,

"You should quit now, otherwise I will not be held responsible for ending you."

Naruto shot him a condescending look,

"I don't think you have the balls."

Neji frown at his opponents vulgar response but decided not to waste his breath on trying to make his opponent give up,

The two opponents started each other out for a few moments before Neji suddenly lunged forward aiming for Naruto's chakra points, to end the match quickly and crush any hope that Naruto had of winning. What he didn't count on was for Naruto to evade his attacks so easily, staying just out of reach. When Neji aimed for a set of chakra points near Naruto's diaphragm he was surprised, to say the least, when Naruto caught his hand inches away from his target,

"My turn." Naruto said before starting his counter attack, which caught Neji by surprise,

Neji had guessed that Naruto's taijutsu worked around grapples and powerful kicks and had prepared as best he could to counter such a style. His surprise steamed not only from the fact that Naruto did not use a kick to strike him, and instead used the fist of his free hand, but also the fact that Naruto struck him very hard in a very sensitive area.

As soon as Naruto's fist smashed into Neji's privates, his opponent let out an agonised sound that seemed like a cross between a scream and a squeal (while the many of the men in the audience winced sympathetically) and the pain distracting Neji enough for his Byakugan to deactivate, before Neji had time to even think Naruto had already brought his arm back a delivered another punishing blow to the already painful area.

Neji stumbled back from the force of the second blow and collapsed to his knees, while one hand held his 'injury' and the other was on the ground supporting his weight. His eyes watering slightly (there was no way the looser could make him cry with such cheap shots), he forced himself to stand up with as much dignity as he could muster, a difficult task when one of your hands is covering your privates, and looked ahead to face his opponent only to find him gone. Feeling panic begin to settle in he once again activated his dōjutsu. Unfortunately for him it was too late.

While Neji was getting up Naruto quickly moved behind him, when he was stood up Naruto swung his fist up between Neji's legs and landed another painful blow on his target's privates, and hurting the fingers that were there to try and protect it, the force of the blow actually lifting him off of the ground.

"Behind you." Naruto said in a sing-song voice as Neji once more sunk to his knees, before becoming serious once more "Come on Neji get up, I'm just getting started." He said as he cracked his knuckles.

On the ground Neji whimpered.

* * *

Up with the rest of the Genin from Naruo's class, as well as Neji's teammates, were gapping at how he was handling Neji. They weren't alone either their teachers were as well,

"Kakashi, just what the hell have you been teaching your students?" Asuma Sarutobi asked Kakashi, who held up his hands in a placating manner,

"Don't look at me. As far as taijutsu is concerned Naruto taught himself, as far as I'm aware." He turned to address Might Guy, Neji's sensei, "For what it's worth Guy, I'll speak with Naruto later about showing more restraint to fellow Leaf nin."

Guy just shook his head sadly

"I wouldn't bother Kakashi, if anything Naruto is showing restraint. If this was a real combat situation then Neji would be dead by now and to be honest, while I wouldn't wish _that_ on any of my students, I hope that it can be a real learning experience for him and help him get over some of his issues."

Kurenai Yūhi, sensei of Team 8, looked towards Kiba, one of her pupils, and grew concerned when she saw his face turning a sickly green,

"Are you alright Kiba?" she asked,

"Yeah. It's just that…" he trailed off before fully answering,

"What?" his sensei pressed on,

Kiba sighed before replying,

"It's just that, I'm feeling a little queasy thinking that Naruto could have potentially done all that to me if I pissed him off during our match. Although it kind of does make me feel like I did get off easy when compared to Neji."

* * *

Up in the contestants' booth all but three of the participants were gaping in horror at the brutalizing that was befalling Neji's 'companions'. The ones who weren't was the ever stoic Shino Amburame, the almost as stoic Gaara of the Desert, who was used to inflicting his own brand of horror on his enemies, and Sasuke who had the good sense to look away before it got too bad. Him and the other participants from Konohagakure were sitting separate from the other participants, beside him Shikamaru spoke up in a wavering voice,

"That's Naruto's fighting style? It's … it's…" he trailed off unable to find the words,

"It's called Rooster Strike style and used to belong to my clan but was lost decades ago." Sasuke said

"But I thought that your clan already had a style." Shikamaru responded in a slightly confused tone,

"Yeah, the Intercepting Fist. It's the clan's defensive style." Sasuke explained,

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow curiously, "Defensive? It's seems quite balanced to me and you've been able to use it offensively easily."

Sasuke sighed before replying, "That's because the Uchiha have often abided by the philosophy of the best defence being a good offence."

"Okay, but that doesn't explain how you were able recognise a Naruto's style if it's been lost for decades." A frowning Shikamaru said,

"It's only been briefly referenced in my clan's scrolls and there are no instructions on how to use it. I only knew for certain when I saw the symbol on Naruto's belt, which matched the symbol for Rooster Strike." Sasuke explained,

"Okay seriously, why the hell is it called Rooster Strike?" Shikamaru asked,

"Because some of the previous Clan members felt that the alternate name was too vulgar." Sasuke answered in an exasperated tone,

"What do you …" Shikamaru trailed off, his eyes widening in realization when he thought about another name for Rooster and where Naruto was striking, "…oh I see."

Over with on the other side of the booth Gaara stated to speak to his brother,

"Kankurō. When I see Uzumaki stike his opponent I feel … uncomfortable … between my legs and an urge to run away. Why is that?" He asked in his creepy monotone,

Kankurō shared a look with his sister Temari before nervously replying,

"Well that 'uncomfortable' feeling you're getting, those are probably sympathy pains. As for the urge to run away well that's …" the last words became inaudible when he stated to mumble,

"It's what Kankurō?" Gaara asked once more, this time allowing some of his anger to lace his words,

"Fear. It's fear." Temari spoke up,

A moment passed before Gaara spoke once more,

"Sympathy Pains? Fear?" Gaara paused briefly before he stated to chuckle darkly and begun speaking in a more manic tone, "Uzumaki truly is interesting, he's able to make me feel pain without even meaning to and is actually able to make me experience some fear. His blood will be an excellent gift for mother." His laughter became more maniacal before he started to stop.

* * *

Back in the arena, all Neji was aware of was the pain that had been inflicted upon him by that monster, no, that demon. Not once did it relent in its assault, only ceasing its attacks to position Neji to when it could launch another series of attacks on his … _person_. His hands, which most Hyūga usually take excellent care off, were severally damaged and broken as well as his fingers which were now twisted out of shape, all from his futile efforts to protect himself.

He knew what he had done to anger the beast, he had severely hurt one of its friends and was now receiving the pain back a thousand fold. The monster had broken him and fulfilled its word by making him, Neji – pride of the Hyūga clan, cry like child in front of nearly the whole village and many illustrious potential clients. Right now he just hoped that Uzumaki would tire of torturing him soon and put him out of his misery rather than be made to suffer for much longer.

While Neji was lamenting his position Naruto had grabbed hold of his arm, the will to fight having long since left it, and allowed himself to fall backwards bringing Neji after him but before Neji landed on him Naruto struck out one of his legs and violently slammed it into Neji's brutalized area and used the momentum to flip Neji over him and onto the ground behind him.

Neji lay on the ground only able to let out pitiful groans, his body no longer responding to his commands and was barley clinging to consciousness as it tried to cope with the shear amount of pain it had been put through and so it came as no surprise that he failed to notice Naruto leap over from his position, his hand practically ablaze with chakra as ruthlessly slammed it down onto Neji's privates. Upon impact the ground underneath could be heard cracking (amongst other things) as Neji sat bolt upright, eyes widened in agony as a hoarse scream tore past his sore throat, due to having screamed himself hoarse during his 'treatment', until final after a couple of seconds he finally fell to the ground in blessed unconsciousness.

"I don't think he's going to be getting up anytime soon." Naruto called out to the proctor, who was just staring in shock at what he had just seen, shanking him out of his stupor,

"Erm, right …Since Neji Hyūga is no longer able to continue the winner of the match is Naruto Uzumaki." Genma announced to a stunned, to say the least, audience and just as Naruto was about to leave the arena Genma spoke to him, "Hey kid, good job. Cruel and brutal but a good job none the less. At least he went unconscious before you could continue."

Naruto just shrugged his shoulders before replying,

"Eh, I've learned that if you hit someone in the head hard enough they'll usually be knocked out."

Genma raised an eyebrow when he heard what Naruto said,

"That's odd, I never saw you hit him above the waist once."

Naruto gave and odd smile before replying,

"Who said I was talking about the head on his shoulders?"

And with that he left a stunned and slightly pale Genma as he made his way up to the contestant's booth.

* * *

When Naruto reached the participant's booth he was greeted by have of the other participants looking at him with nervous expressions. Of the other half Shino and Gaara were as stoic as they normally were, while the most unique reaction and the most unusual was Sasuke smiling at him. Not smirking but genuinely smiling at him,

"Did you get a personality transplant during my match Jerk?" he asked Sasuke,

"What do you mean Naruto?" Sasuke asked, looking genuinely confused,

"Well you're smiling … at me … and it's kind of starting to creep me out now." Naruto elaborated, causing Sasuke to roll his eyes in exasperation,

"I'm smiling at you because you just won me two and a half million ryō from betting on you for your match." Sasuke explained while still smiling, causing most of the people around to gape at him when they heard how much he won,

"Holy Shit!" Naruto exclaimed, "That's like an S-rank Mission payment there."

"Two and a half actually." Sasuke responded smugly, "And since it was that to you that I was able to get it the least I can do is say thanks."

Naruto seemed genuinely surprised when he heard Sasuke thanking him,

"Okay who are you and what have you done with the asshole?"

Sasuke narrowed his eyes at Naruto slightly,

"Very funny. I'm being serious, thanks to you I'll be able to get some very high quality weapons and explosive tags. Plus I'll be able to afford some time out of missions to be able to focus on my training." Sasuke explained,

"Hey where did you get the money for the bet anyway?" Naruto asked,

"Well who do you think my clan's money went to after they … well you know." Sasuke snapped back before trailing off, "Speaking of my clan, what I want to know is where you learnt the lost fighting style of my clan." He enquired,

"You mean Rooster Strike?" Naruto asked, causing Sasuke to nod in confirmation, "Well I found the scrolls in an old temple, read the letter that Izuna Sensei left and thought that it would be help me to become Hokage." Naruto explained,

"Which temple?" Sasuke asked,

"Erm … sorry but I can't remember where it was. I mean it was several years ago and I did come across it by accident, kind of." Naruto answered while grinning sheepishly,

As Sasuke cursed under his breath at the typical Naruto response, then he remembered something that Naruto said,

"Izuna Sensei?" He enquired,

"Oh yeah that's the guy that wrote the guide down along with some other stuff, such as chakra control exercises and some stories of him and his brother's experiences. I started calling him sensei because it seemed appropriate, even if he is dead by now." Naruto explained,

Sasuke's eyes widened slightly when he heard what Naruto was saying and decided what to do in regards as to Naruto having learnt clan techniques,

"Naruto, I'm going have to ask you to do something for me. You have to promise me not to teach anyone Rooster Strike, without my approval."

"Huh, why? It's a really good style and could help our friends a lot." Naruto asked looking genuinely confused, making Sasuke sigh in frustration at how ignorant his teammate could be at times,

"I know there's no denying its effectiveness but it's to do with politics. If the other shinobi found out that you were using a clan's personal style then other clans could be asked to pass out some of their techniques as well and would put a lot of pressure on them. If they didn't they be viewed as being selfish and possibly untrustworthy while if they gave in they could lose some of their clan's identities while at the same time making it easier for Konoha's enemies to get their hands on previously secret and hidden techniques. Sino, Shikamaru, you two can see where I'm coming from right?"

"Indeed." Shino confirmed,

"As troublesome as this situation is Naruto he's right, and he just gave a simplified version as well. The reality would be a hell of a lot more complicated." Shikamaru said,

"So what are you saying? That you want me to stop using Rooster Strike?" Naruto asked, clearly not happy with the situation,

"No. I'm going have to submit some documentation in stating that while Rooster Strike is an Uchia registered style, you'll be granted permission to use it." Sasuke explained, bringing a confused look to Naruto's face,

"But why would you do that? I thought you wanted it kept in your clan." Naruto asked,

"I do but I'm thinking long term here. I want to someday revive my clan, but only after eliminating a certain threat, and when I do have children I want them to be the best that they can be. By then I should be good enough at using Intercepting Fist to be able teach them, but I simply don't have the time to learn both Intercepting Fist and Rooster Strike on my own, even if I was to use the my Sharingan. That's where you come in, I want you to keep studying Rooster Strike and be as good as you can at it so that you can teach my children how to use it one day. You're the only one I would trust with this Naruto. Don't let me down." His face showing his absolute seriousness in what he had just said, shocking both Naruto and Shikamaru, who was listening,

"Are you serious Sasuke?" Naruto asked,

"Of course I am. It won't happen for a long time, not until I've killed _him_, but you're one of the strongest of our generation, as much as it pains me to admit, and I honestly can't think of a better teacher for the future," Sasuke said making Naruto grin proudly, "apart from myself of course." He added in a faux-smug attitude,

"It seems like you clan heirs have a lot more to take into consideration than the rest of us. It kind of makes me glad that I don't have to worry about that stuff." Naruto said,

"Oh yeah? Well you should get used to it. After all the Hokage has to deal with ten times more than the clan heads, never mind the clan heirs." Shikamaru chipped in, which made Naruto slump his head,

"Oh crap." He muttered,

Before anything else could be said between them, the next two contestants were called down to continue the chūnin exam.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since the disastrous chūnin exams. During the Sasuke's match with Gaara, both Sunagakure and Otogakure launched a surprise attack upon the village and although the invading forces were repelled it was not with some sacrifice, the most notable being the Third Hokage who gave his lave to seal away the reanimated corpses of the First and Second Hokages as well as the arm of the one who orchestrated the invasion, his former student Orochimaru.

After Jiraiya, another of the Third Hokage's students, had turned down the position of Hokage him and a recently promoted (for his actions during the invasion) Naruto had set out to find Tsunade, the Third's other student, to try and convince her to become Hokage. Along the journey Naruto had been working on improving his use of the Rasengan technique that Jiraiya taught him during the month before the third part of the chūnin exam.

When they found her she flatly turned down the offer while insulting the previous Hokages which angered Naruto into provoking her into a fight. During the fight Naruto attempted to use an unstable Rasengan which was easily avoided by the more experienced opponent, in an effort to mock him she bet him that if he could learn to use actually use the Rasengan in a week that not only would she become Hokage but she would also give him her necklace which not was said to be worth the money to buy three mountain but had also belonged to her grandfather, The First Hokage – Hashirama Senju. Naruto had accepted the bet but after a week of training things became complicated on the day of the deadline, once again thanks to Orochimaru.

After trying and failing to convince Tsunade to heal his arms, a fight had broken out between Tsunade, Orochimaru and his right hand man, Kabuto Yakushi. While Orochimaru had yet to engage Tsunade, Kabuto had taken full advantage of her blood phobia to injure and incapacitate her. Luckily for her Jiraya, Naruto and Shizune, Tsunade's apprentice and assistant, had arrived to help her.

While Jiraya had moved to deal with Orochimaru and Sizune had started to heal the almost catatonic and blood covered Tsunade, Naruto had started to fight Kabuto. After a quick warning from Shizune to avoid Kabuto's Chakra Scalpel technique Naruto started off by using his Shadow Clones to test his opponent's defences, and while the first wave had been beaten with relative ease it had been enough for Naruto to see an opening and Rooster Strike practically demand that all openings should be taken advantage of.

Kabuto upon seeing a second wave of Shadow Clones coming for him, rolled his eyes in exasperation. Couldn't the little fool see that he was obviously outclassed? It was of no importance to him what happened to the boy, if his Lord Orochimaru wanted the vessel dead then he would easily kill the boy and if he was wanted kept alive then he could at the very least make an interesting research specimen. During Kabuto's musing he had also been taking out the Shadow Clones with ease and after taking out the last one had looked back to where the real Naruto was only to find him missing, before he had time to try and find him Naruto burst out from the ground underneath Kabuto, his hand glowing with chakra, a delivered a vicious uppercut to Kabuto's privates.

Kabuto's let out a painful chocking sound when the blow connected and made him stumble back. Unprepared for the unconventional hit he couldn't help but to drop to his knees clutching his 'injury' giving Naruto another opening, who wasn't willing to let someone as dangerous as him to get a chance to counter attack. He summoned another group of Shadow Clones who the proceeded to start attacking Kabuto, stabbing him with kunai and delivering several powerful kicks on him.

None of the clones expected Kabuto to suddenly roar out and start tearing them apart with his own Kunai knife and were unable to protect themselves from his rampage. When he looked towards Naruto he could see the rage clearly on his face but what unnerved Naruto slightly was the fact that the stab wounds and slashed he had received were healing up right before his eyes,

"You know Naruto, if I couldn't grow those back I would be much more pissed off." Kabuto said practically growling,

"What the hell? I'm sure some of my clones would have at least gotten a few of your organs by now." Naruto said trying to pry some information about his opponent from him,

"Better people than you have tried to kill me. So long as I have the chakra to do so I can recover from almost any injury. I would say give up now, but after what you've just done there's no way I'm going to let you live." And with that he charged towards Naruto intent on sticking his kunai into Naruto's neck,

Seeing the incoming threat, Naruto quickly made a Shadow Clone which appeared just as Kabuto's kunai started to descend on him. Instinctually Naruto lifted one of his hand up in defence which made the Kunai go straight through his hand but no further, ignoring the pain Naruto used his impaled hand to clamp down on Kabuto's hand while his clone used both of its hands to latch on Kabuto's free arm leaving Kabuto wide open,

"Hey Old Lady! Get ready to pay up on our bet!" Naruto shouted to Tsunade, who was staring intently at the fight in front of her. No sooner had the words left his mouth did he hold out his free hand and a Rasengan started to form, without the use of a clone that he normally used. Seeing the threat Kabuto quickly dispelled the clone with a Chakra Scalpel before reaching out to finish of Naruto before he could finish his attack and began to reinforce his torso with chakra to heal any up and coming damage that Naruto might deal out. It's just a shame that he reinforced the wrong area.

Naruto instead of going for the torso as most would, struck out in a manner befitting Rooster Strike and slammed the grinding and destructive ball of chakra right into Kabuto's significantly less destructive balls, in a manner of speaking, the force of the Jutsu and the blow sent a screaming Kabuto flying back until he smashed into a large rock outcropping.

"Try growing those back now." Naruto said with a grin before turning back to a stunned Tsunade, "Told you I could do it." Just when he was about to go over and help her up a sudden and agonising pain happened in his chest right near his heart and as he fell to the ground he blacked out before he hit the ground.

* * *

It had been some time since Tsunade had returned to Konohagakure and become the Hokage. Things had returned to relative normality except for Sasuke who had become more prone to brooding after being completely crushed by his older brother just outside of Konoha when Naruto and Jiraya had first set out in search of Tsunade.

It wasn't long until him and Naruto had gotten into a sparring match that had quickly escalated out of control and would have resulted in at least one of them getting seriously hurt if Kakashi hadn't intervened. After seeing the superior damage that Naruto's Rasengan did to a nearby boulder, when compared to his Chidori, Sasuke's insecurities about his rate of progress were troubling heavily on his mind. Insecurities which Orochimaru's agents played on.

After Sasuke left the village a team consisting of Naruo, Shikamaru, Kiba, Neji and Chōji was assembled, with Naruto and Shikamaru as team leaders, and ordered to retrieve Sasuke. After encountering resistance from the four Sound Nin escorting Sasuke, Naruto was forced to go on ahead after the unexpected arrival of a fifth Sound Nin who then carried off the barrel that Sasuke was in. Naruto arrived in a field just to see Sasuke emerge from the barrel and head towards Orochimaru's base while his white haired escort stayed to delay Naruto.

Naruto quickly dealt with the white haired opponent before redirecting a newly recovered Rock Lee, who had arrived just after Naruto had finished off his opponent, to the rest of the team in order to support them.

Naruto finally caught up to Sasuke at the Valley of the End and tried to convince his friend to return to Konoha peacefully,

"You just don't understand Naruto. Konoha may be the best for you but for me I've begun to stagnate and if I continue to stay there I'll end up reaching my peak soon. I can't afford to let that happen if I am to have any chance to kill Itachi. By going to Orochimaru not only will I have access to countless ninjutsu but he's already improved my cursed seal. I'm certain that if I go to him I'll be able to eliminate Itachi soon and finally avenge my clan." Sasuke ranted in manic manner,

"Damn it Sasuke! Do you honestly believe that Orochimaru will help you kill Itachi? He just wants take control of your body for his own, sure he may train you but only so that you body will suit the way he fights when he takes control of it. Even if you think letting him take control will lead to your brother's death do you honestly think he'll risk his neck doing it? Pervy Sage told me that Orochimaru and Itachi used to be part of the same group, but he left when he tried and failed to take control of Itachi's body and was only left alive at Itachi's whim. Do you think that he's going to risk his life against an opponent who beat him so easily?" Naruto argued, feeling some elation when he saw some realisation and reasoning return to Sasuke's eyes,

"I don't want to hurt you Sasuke but my loyalty is to my home and I'll do what I have to in order to protect it. If I have to break every bone in your body to bring you back alive I will. If I have to kill you to stop you from going to the snake bastard then I will. You told me that you wanted me to teach your kids Rooster Strike. Think about those kids Sasuke and ask yourself this: 'Do I still want them?'" Naruto asked in threatening manner, a Rasengan forming in his hand.

Sasuke thought over what Naruto had said and could see that he made valid arguments. He had thought that Orochimaru, one of the Sannin, would be able to beat Itachi and thus train Sasuke to kill him. The knowledge that Orochimaru had not only been beaten by his brother but completely crushed, from the sounds of things, was a real shock to Sasuke. While Orochimaru may have given him power in the form of the Cursed Seal, the question was what it would cost him, now that he was thinking a lot clearer he could tell that it was affecting his rationality somewhat and didn't help that it fed off of his prevalent dark emotions. Finally he though over Naruto's threats, he knew that Naruto was just as strong as him and with the Cursed seal he might just be able to win but at what cost? He had done some research in regards to Rooster Strike and it unnerved him. Naruto's final point was what really brought it home for Sasuke and contrary to what Kiba said he was not gay (he just preferred strong women over simpering fan girls) and he really did want to have children one day (as well as get a lot of practice at making those children, though he would never admit it) and if he decided to fight Naruto the question would be whether or not he would be capable afterwards.

After having though things through, Sasuke looked towards Naruto having arrived at his decision,

"I'll come quietly." He said with a hint of fear in his voice.

And so thanks to Naruto yet another of Orochimaru's plans failed.

* * *

Sasuke was suspended for one year before going onto two years of probationary service and would be labelled a flight risk indefinitely. The light sentence was due to not only allowing the Konoha nin to kill off some of Orochimaru's elite soldiers, who were also partially responsible for the death of the Third Hokage, but also for providing valuable information in how the cursed seal worked via the one on his body and the one on their prisoner, Tayuya. At least he would find plenty of time to train from his clan's jutsu scrolls.

Naruto was ordered to go on a training trip with Jiraiya in order to prepare himself for the coming threat of Akatsuki, who each of its members were high end missing-nin according to the information that they had available and he would be expected to return by the in around three years. So after paying one last visit to his friends he went on the training trip to prepare for the coming threats.

As for what happened when he got back, well, that's a story for another time.

End

* * *

* Bonus 1/Alternate Summons 1 – Cock-a-motherfucking-doo *

Shortly after the end of the second part of the chūnin exams Naruto had been assigned a tutor by Kakashi, who was off training Sasuke to fight Gaara, only for said tutor to get his ass knocked out by some old man peeping on the girls at the hot springs and so Naruto was forced use all his persuasive prowess, and his patented 'Sexy Jutsu' (see Patent Number 20645: Sexy Jutsu, A.K.A; The Kage Killer. A-Rank, Forbiden Jutsu) to convince the old man to train Naruto.

The old man, Jiraiya, had at first had attempted to teach Naruto the water walking exercise only for Naruto to show that he already knew how to do it, thanks to Izuna's scrolls, but was struggling to do so since Orochimaru placed a seal on him that messed with his Chakra control, luckily Jiraiya recognised what was happening undid the seal restoring Naruto's control to what it was before.

Jiraiya went on to try and teach Naruto the Summoning Jutsu, only to be stunned at what Naruto said when he interrupted his explanation

* Flashback *

"What do you mean you can already do the Summoning Jutsu?" Jiraiya asked in disbelief,

"Erm … I thought I was pretty clear Pervy Sage. I can do the Summoning Jutsu. I don't know how I can make it any simpler." Naruto said in a slightly irritated tone,

"How the hell did a kid like you get your hands on a Summoning Contract?"

Naruto just shrugged his shoulders,

"I found with a bunch of other scrolls as well as instructions on how to use it. Does this mean I won't be able to learn what you have to teach me?"

Jiraya thought about what Naruto asked for a moment before replying,

"I don't know to be honest. I haven't heard of someone having more than one contract but I suppose it could be possible but it might be best to consult the summon bosses first and get their input. I go first kid." And with that Jiraiya firmly bit his thumb, breaking the skin, quickly ran through some hand seals before slamming his palm on the ground. An instant later a gigantic cloud of smoke appeared before it cleared away to reveal an equally gigantic red toad. It had a scar running down his left eye, wore a blue jacket, and had a kiseru pipe in its mouth as well as an equally large sword strapped to its side.

"Jiraiya! Why have you summoned me? I don't see any fight and I can't smell any booze, so unless you have a good reason I'll be kicking your ass!" The giant toad's voice boomed out, making Jiraiya rub the back of his head nervously,

"Sorry about that Gamabunta but the thing is that I've found a good potential summoner. The catch is though, is that he already has a contract and we were wondering if it would be possible for you and the other boss to talk with each other and see if we could come up with a deal." Jiraiya explained,

Gamabunta looked down at the boy besides Jiraiya,

'So that's Minato and Kushina's kid, huh? He might have some potential if the family's talent runs true.' Gamabunta thought to himself before answering, "Fine have the brat try and summon whatever boss he hold the contract for, I highly doubt that the little whelp will be capable of doing it."

Naruto's eye twitched when he heard the large amphibian take a jab at his abilities before responding in an irritated mannnar,

"You don't think I can do it, huh? Well watch this!" Naruto bit his thumb, breaing the skin, before quickly runing through some hand seals before slamming his palm on the ground. Another could of smoke appeared, this one just as large as the one the preceded Gamabunta and when it cleared both him and Jiraiya were more than surprised at what Naruto had summoned,

"Holy Shit!" They both exclaimed.

* Flashback End *

The two summon bosses came to an agreement. While the one that Naruto had consisted primarily of direct combat specialists, the toads had more versatility for espionage, transport and collaboration jutsu, so they agreed that Naruto could work with both of them and if the situation called for it they would even work together. The four of them cemented the deal by drinking some sake together, although Naruto protested at first until his summon boss told him to 'Stop being a little bitch and just drink it already, it's a tradition for the teacher to join his student for his first drink. I now the old perv 'ain't taught you anything yet but he will soon, and I've already been helping to teach you so that makes me your teacher. Now hurry up and chug it down.'

After the resulting hangover Jiraiya started to instruct Naruto in the use of Fūinjutsu, which Naruto showed an aptitude for, and how to use the Rasengan. Naruto accomplished the first two stages easily enough but struggled slightly on the third until he started to use a shadow clone to help him complete it.

Then came the day of the third part of the chūnin exam and the invasion that interrupted it. When the sleep inducing genjutsu activated Naruto had been able to break out of it, thanks to some of the basics he had learnt from Izuna's scrolls, and joined in the defence of his home using chakra on each of his opponents as he struck them rendering them crumpled helpless messes on the ground, and in many cases crying as well, leaving them vulnerable to being picked off by the other rookies and konoha nin.

He then received an order from Kakashi to quickly head off after Sasuke who had gone off in pursuit of Gaara, so Naruto brought as many of the rookies as he could, as well as Tenten, in order to reinforce/rescue Sasuke. He left Shikamaru, Ten Ten and Chōji behind to ambush the Oto pursuit squad while the rest of them carried on. The ambush worked without a hitch, Shikamaru paralyzed the enemies with his Shadow Possession Jutsu leaving them open for Tenten to snipe at with her weapons and Chōji to literally crush the one lying in wait to try and bail out his team if anything went wrong.

After subduing Gaara's siblings who had tried to delay them, the team arrived at the location where Sasuke and Gaara were fighting but it was apparent that Sasuke was about to pass out from exhaustion, while Gaara was practically in a berserker state and had used his sand to transform into some kind of demented version of a racoon except for the lower portions of his legs which were sticking out.

After getting the team to retrieve Sasuke he ordered them to fall back while he handled Gaara and although reluctant and protesting they followed his orders. The fight was difficult for Naruto due partly to the massive amounts of sand that was covering his target area and so he changed tactics to 'Re-define overkill will hundreds of shadow clones all armed with a crap-load of homemade explosive notes.' After the onslaught Gaara's form was barley sticking to his body due to it being destabilised, some parts of it glinting in the sunlight which showed that some of it had been turned to glass form the heat.

Thinking that he might have had the upper hand Naruto was unprepared for the massive surge of sand that came from Gaara, even less when he fully transformed into his demon and let said demon, Shukaku, take control. After barely surviving the manic demon's attacks Naruto realised that he would need some support to bring down an opponent of this magnitude and so once his course of action was decided he swiped some of his blood from the corner of his mouth before running through some hand seals slammed his hand on the ground which caused a giant cloud of smoke to appear.

When the cloud cleared the rest of Naruto squad and Gaara's siblings were left gapping at what he had summoned. It was a giant rooster, standing like a human and wearing similar clothes as Naruto, only with red trim instead of orange. It's wing's seemed to be bizarly crossed with arms and had them folded across it's chest in a manner similar to a human. The lower portions of the legs was bare of any clothing but were adorned with vicious looking spurs and it claws looked almost as deadly. The thing that completed this bizarre ensemble was the fact that it held a smoking, fat cigar in its beak. They truly felt that the situation couldn't get more bizarre, before swiftly being proven wrong,

"Cock-a-mother-fucking-doo bitches." The giant rooster said, somehow with a cocky smirk on its face,

"Good to see you're here Boss Sensei." Naruto said with a grin on top of the rooster's head,

"Well, well. Is that Shukaku I see? I guess I was right to allow you to work with my kind if you got me such an interesting fight." The Rooster said with amusement evident upon its face,

"I'm glad to see you're not pissed off at me for bringing you to fight a bijū." Naruto said

"Are you kidding me? Why the hell would I pass up the chance to kick a bijū's ass?" The Rooster asked rhetorically, "I'm only disappointed that it isn't the Two Tailed Cat, that way you could have made a joke about introducing a pussy to your giant cock." The Rooster said before sniggering, while Naruto blushed slightly (the rest of the present genin more so) and Shukaku became angry at being disregarded so easily,

"Hey Don't Ignore Me!" It shouted before launching one of its Air Bullets towards the Rooster. Seeing the incoming threat the Rooster waited until the last moment before quickly performing a high kick, the spur slicing through the Air Bullet making it split and the two parts veer off on either side of their intended target.

The rooster was now glaring at the demon in front of itself,

"If you wanted to fight all you had to do was say, because I'm more than ready to start." With that he settled into a fighting stance that seemed familiar to Kiba on the ground, "Hey kid, is that zit on Shukaku's forehead his jinchūriki? If we're to beat Mr Sandy Claws, the zit needs to be woken up and since I'll be focusing on the actual threat that'll come down to you kid. You got that?" The Rooster instructed,

"Got it! Now let's do this!" Naruto said

And with that the intense if somewhat bizarre battle began.

The Rooster clearly seemed to favour jumping kicks, it was no surprise really to the observers due to the dangerous looking spurs on its legs, and while Shukaku was nowhere near as fast as his opponent he was able to use his sand to shield himself. On the occasions when the Rooster pulled back Shukaku would unleash a volley of Wind Bullets that would be dodged or sliced through much to his frustration,

"Damn it! How the fuck are you stopping my Bullets?" Shukaku question angrily,

The Rooster seemed to smirk before lifting up one of his legs and showed a blue chakra glow around one of his spurs,

"Do you think that you're the only one who can use wind chakra?" he asked the demon in a condescending manner.

Back on the ground the rest of the genin were shocked to say the least, with Gaara's brother and sister being the most surprised, at the level of the fight that was happening (except for a barely conscious Sasuke who was fighting to stay conscious.) They were even more surprised when they realised that Naruto was sticking to The Rooster's head during the fight as well,

"I know this sounds crazy but I think Naruto might actually win." An amazed Sakura spoke out,

"It's not crazy at all. Naruto will win especially when that chicken of his goes all out." Kiba spoke up,

The other's turned to look at him in confusion,

"What do you mean Kiba?" Shino asked,

"I know that you guys didn't fight him but you should be able to recognise its fighting style by now. It's the same as Naruto's and since it's only using kicks I can guess that it hasn't gotten serious yet." Kiba explained,

Wide eyed the Genin turned back to the fight intent on not missing it.

The Rooster had dodged yet another volley of Wind Bullets, this time by jumping over them and towards Shukaku. As he descended to the ground he used the momentum to deliver an axe-kick to the demon, who raised an arm in defence but despite it intercepting the blow The Rooster's leg spur sliced clean though the demon's arm, thanks to the wind chakra enhancing it, making Shukaku scream in pain,

"Gaahh! My Arm! You Cut Off My Fucking! You'll Die for That, You Overgrown Chiken!" and in his anger Shukaku swung forward with his remaining arm only for the Rooster to catch his arm with one of its own. The Rooster, now presented with an ample opportunity, formed a fist with its free limb and viciously struck Shukaku between his legs, making his eyes widen in pain and disbelief as he doubled over,

"Now Kid! Wake up Captain Kitty-Litter's host!" The Rooster instructed Naruto,

Doing as he was told Naruto leapt the distance between the two giant beings, his hand ablaze with chakra, and landed in front of the unconscious Gaara, who was now covered only from his lower legs downwards. Taking the opportunity, Naruto swung his fist up and slammed his fist into the unsuspecting jinchūriki's privates.

When the blow connected Gaara's eyes snapped wide awake as his mouth opened in a silent scream tried to make itself heard. Due to Gaara waking up, Shukaku's form began to break apart,

"Damn you bastards. I'll get you for this." He choked out before finally collapsing into the sand that made up his body, leaving his host free to fall to the ground bellow had it not been for Naruto catching him before he leapt onto one of the nearby trees.

Unable to move and unable to once more release his demon, the threat of Gaara had been neutralized ensuring that he would no longer be able to assist in the invasion of Konoha. Thanks to the efforts of Naruto and his … dangerous Summon.

End

* * *

* Bonus 2 – Below the Rope Belt *

Things had not been ideal for Naruto's first official mission where he was in a position of command. He didn't want to leave his friends behind but it was the only way to maintain pace with the enemy escorting Sasuke and now when he had Sasuke in his sights, not only did he turn away and clearly start fleeing of his own momentum but also some white haired guy was blocking his path.

Not sure about what his opponent's capabilities were Naruto quickly formed a batch of shadow clones and had them try and scope out the guy's abilities. His was clearly surprise when he saw what appeared to be blades of bone tear through the guy's skin as he used the to annihilate his clones,

"You should just give up now trash." The white haired teen said in a bored tone, "I will not allow you to retrieve Sasuke. He is the key to Lord Orochimaru's immortality. If you stop now I promise to grant you a quick death."

"Like hell that's going to happen." Naruto responded angrily,

"Do you not see the futility of your actions? Your clones were barely able to scratch me thanks to my Kekkai Genkai. It allows me to use my bones not only as an infinite supply of weapons but also as an impenetrable armour. You cannot win."

"So your bones act as armour, huh?" Naruto said as a plan formed in his head, "Well I got news for you; every armour has a weak point." And with that he made another wave of clones to attack the bone user,

"Pathetic." The bone wielder said before displacing the clones, sustaining only superficial and easily healed injuries. When the last of the clones vanished in smoke he turned back towards Naruto who had yet to move,

"You're beginning to get on my nerves, boy. Give up now."

Naruto glared at him before responding,

"Not going to happen."

And it was then that Naruto's plan was implanted. Before the bone manipulator knew what had happened a hidden clone burst from the ground underneath him, with a Rasengan in hand which he used to strike one of the few places that he couldn't protect with his bones: right below the belt.

The force of the Jutsu sent him spiralling out of control and into the air leaving him vulnerable to Naruto's follow up attacks. Seeing that the first part of his plan worked, Naruto summoned two more shadow clones who then proceeded to throw him over to his falling victim. When Naruto reach his target he drove his knee into the white haired person's 'weak spot' just as they both hit the ground. Not allowing his opponent a chance to recover from his attack Naruto quickly took out a kunai knife a cut through his opponent's throat, slicing through the trachea, carotid artery and jugular vein. Seconds later his shocked opponent was dead.

A soon as his opponent was dead Naruto took out a hidden scroll with an pre-ready but empty storage seal and quickly sealed the body away for the higher-ups to study. Just as he was about to leave he heard someone behind him,

"Naruto please wait up!"

He turned around to see his friend Rock Lee run out into the clearing,

"Bushy Brows? I thought you were still recovering from you're operation."

"Indeed I was but I could not allow my friends to perform such a dangerous task without trying to help." Lee explained, while giving a thumb up,

"That's great Lee but I can't let you come with me. If me and Sasuke end up fighting and he starts going all out, I won't be able to without risking you're neck." Naruto explained,

"But I cannot let you do this alone. Please Naruto, let me be of some use." Lee requested of Naruto,

"Who said I wasn't going to let you help? What I want you to do is go back and reinforce the others, they had some dangerous opponents and I need to make sure they're okay." Naruto said with a smile that showed that he had confidence in Lee, who upon receiving his assignment saluted Naruto with a smile on his face,

"At once Naruto. I shall go assist our friends at once." He then proceeded to run back towards where the rest of the squad was.

Once Naruto was certain Lee was doing as he had been instructed, he resumed his pursuit of Sasuke.

He had mission to complete.

End

* * *

* Bonus 3 – The Reason/s *

At a hidden location a man in a strange mask was meditating while a second hooded figure was reading a medical textbook and after a few more moments of peace the one in the mask spoke up,

"I'm curious Kabuto. Just why did you decide to ally yourself with my cause?"

Kabuto thought for a moment, before answering,

"Well Lord Madara, is it not true that the extraction of a bijū is one of the most painful ways for a human to die?" Kabuto answered a small smirk appeared on his now scaly lips,

"Indeed, but how does that tie into your reason for joining?" Madara asked,

"Simply put I want revenge on Naruto Uzumaki, I want him to suffer the most agonising death possible once everything he holds dear has been destroyed." Kabuto replied with a scowl visible under his hood,

"Truly? I wonder what the Uzumaki did to provoke such … hostility from one such as yourself." Madara said with a hint of amusement in his voice,

"It's because he took something from me, something I have been unable to get back and doubt will be possible. For such a thing I could never forgive him." Kabuto elaborated, a hand unconsciously covering his crotch as phantom pains struck,

Madara didn't fail to notice the small gesture and could probably guess what Uzumaki had done. The knowledge as to what fighting style the boy used had shocked Madara, who believed himself to be the last remaining practitioner. He knew just how dangerous it could be and the damage that could be done, he didn't even want to be on the receiving end of a Rasengan powered hit consider how devastating an ordinary one could be.

He also knew some of the long term repercussions that a recipient of Rooster Strike could experience, which would often only become evident years after the initial injury. After all there was a reason why many of the Senju's suffered fertility problems after facing Himself Izuna and the others Uchihas who practiced Rooster Strike.

End

* * *

Authors Notes: Okay I hope that it's obvious that this is a non-serious fic. I attempted to be humorous but feel as though I've failed spectacularly.

I got the initial inspiration after seeing a fake movie trailer, I can't remember where, but it definitely involved Steven Segal punching guys in the balls. That minute and a half clip played on my frustration of characters in almost anything never fighting dirty, never mind a crotch shot/cunt punt, even the 'bad guys' and not even in fan fiction. The only ones I can think of is in _'Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker'_ and an incident where Deadpool (who is insanely cool/ insane and cool) kicked Captain America in the balls to save the free will of humanity. Anyway, I often wondered just how different fights would go if someone was willing to literally hit below the belt, which evolved into a whole style modelled around it and just for the comedic value I made it so that the 'noble' Uchiha clan were the biggest group of the dirtiest and most underhanded (literally) of fighters. They are ninja not samurai, they have no rules. The above fights are clearly over exaggerations but then this isn't meant to be serious, that being said I had fun writing this.

One thing I want to make clear, this was not a Neji bashing fic it's just that the flow of the story made him an unfortunate victim. He also started referring to Naruto as 'demon' and 'monster' because that's what he felt he was dealing with, he did not know of the Kyūbi and was not referring to it.

I know it seems I made Sasuke a little out of character but before Shippuden I honestly that he had a lot of potential as a character, where as now he seems completely one dimensional. I thought that it would make him seem more genuine to show an interest in girls, but only those that appeal to his tastes (which his fangirls did not), after all he is a hormonal adolescent boy. Even when he was training to kill his brother I doubt he didn't have the odd daydream as it were. It was really only when Itachi reopened old wounds that he started to become the major asshole he is known to be.

In the first bonus I really wish that I could say it was all my original idea, but I can't. The idea of a giant chicken for a summon (and the Cock-a-mother-fucking-do) came from Naruto Abridged, I just beefed up the image. In fan fiction I've seen Naruto use all kinds of summons: foxes, salamanders, dragons and even butterflies but never any roosters, despite them being vicious little bastards at times (they have actually been recorded to kill some grown men … honestly). The spurs I based on those used in cock fighting for those who may be wondering.

In the second bonus I play up on the fact that Kimimaro's bloodline make him very difficult to hurt but there are two areas that come to mind that would be difficult for his bones to protect. I simply had someone exploit them. As far as I'm aware I've yet to see anyone else take advantage of even one of these when he in a fan fic, I could and probably am wrong but who knows?

The third bonus is an obvious dig at the fact that despite being considered equally powerful, the Senju seem to be practically extinct at the time the Kyūbi attacked while the Uchiha were pretty much flourishing. This is my way of answering this mystery in this fic.

Once again I hope you all enjoyed the fic and the snippets.

"Feel free to review and constructive criticism is always welcome."


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